Goodbye, Friend

John G. O'Brien 1945~2007 John G. O'Brien, of Medford, died Monday, October 8, 2007 at Rogue Valley Medical Center. Arrangements are entrusted to Conger~Morris, Medford. 772-7111. Published in the Mail Tribune on 10/16/2007.

I know its strange to put a obituary into a blog, but I do this because Mr. O'Brien was a friend of mine, and a friend to all those who worked with him.

John was a gentleman in the true sense, a throwback to the kind of honest and polite individual you only see now in old movies with James Stewart or Gary Cooper. He very rarely lost his temper, and only for a few moments. He also never spoke negatively to anyone in front of or behind their back, or made derisive remarks in general.

Although it is customary to say nice things about someone who has passed away, this was a truly special person.

We worked together at Sears for 16 years. The Great Retail Game is very stressful. John was at his best at diffusing these stressful situations, telling his co-workers so often, "It ain't no big thing", during some job-related task meltdown. He kept perspective when those around him lost theirs, to paraphrase a stanza from Kipling's poem, "If". He also befriended new employees and had infinite patience for those who were learning the ropes. Many of his co-workers could go on a rant at "the new guy", but John was always in the corner of the underdog. Invariably.

He also was quite well-read on the history of the American West , all makes of automobiles and how they ran, and could name just about any popular tune from "oldies" radio and who sang it and what year or month it came out.

The one thing John didn't have a lot of family. He will be buried at the Veterans Cemetery near Medford. I doubt any of his family will be there as his closest relative was a sister living across country. The friends he had at Sears were his family.

I mention the passing of my friend not because I think those who read this don't have enough pain and loss in their lives and need to import some of mine. Rather, I hope you have a friend like John in your working or private life. I realize now I took his good humor and steadiness for granted for too long and didn't give him enough credit for how much he's meant to my life, even in my infrequent visits to the hospital in the last weeks of his illness. In short, if you have a "John" in your life, let him or her know how much they mean to you. Go ahead and say it, don't wait, even if it feels awkward. Life is too short and hard at times. I think we should articulate praise to someone who makes the trip more pleasant for those around them.

Goodbye, John. Thanks.